


No

by Anonymous



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Age Difference, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, being a mature person is tough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 05:29:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17339444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Tony says "no".





	No

.

There are many reasons why Tony says “no” to Peter, when Peter comes to him, speaking of love, even though everything in him – his heart, his brain, his very soul, long to badly to say “yes, yes, _yes_ ”.

The main reason, the one that is both his blessing and his eternal curse, is that he is a futurist, and so he knows what saying “yes” would mean, would do to Peter – and he just can’t do it.

Sure, Tony might have another good decade in him, maybe even two if the fates he doesn’t believe in are kind – but the way he has been living his life? He doubts that he has more than that.

And Peter – Peter is such a _good_ , such a loyal person, that Tony knows that he would stick with Tony whatever may come.

And what will come, inexorably and inevitably, is Tony slowing down, Tony’s body breaking down, Tony’s mind scrambling itself, either in one big rush, or in small, constant, heartbreaking increments. Tony’s parents might have been spared that kind of fate (though what kind of sparing being assassinated is, Tony’s not sure), but he’s had plenty of other examples of the vagaries and cruelties of aging in his immediate surroundings to know what is in store for him. It’ll be his mind giving out on him, as it did for aunt Peggy, or his body leaving his still lucid brain trapped in an unresponsive shell, as happened to Happy’s mother. Or it will be sudden, like Pepper’s father’s heart attack was.

Whatever decay the inexorable march of time will bring him, Tony knows that it’s probably not too far off – his alcohol-soaked youth, a constant sleep deficit, palladium poisoning, the accumulated injuries that being Iron Man brought with it – they’re already taking their toll on his health and stamina, and that is something that is only going to get worse.

And, for once, Tony is sure that he has actually found someone who is loyal to him, who _would_ _remain_ at his side in good times and _bad_ , just as marriage vows and romantic ideals promise – and he can’t, he _can’t_ do it.

It’s not because it would be a scandal now – that they could weather, or simply wait out until Peter is 21 – they’d be strong enough for that, he’s sure.

No, it’s because of what is lurking in the future that he says “no” and breaks both their hearts.

Sure, a September – April relationship sounds kind of romantic when it’s being written up in romance novels, but September’s sunshine is going to turn into October’s gold and decay, is going to turn into November’s rot, is going to turn into disease, decay, death – while April blossoms into May and into the prime of life of June and July.

Peter – Peter would be 25, 30, 35, and Tony would be turning into an old man whose hands tremble, knees creak, whose brain is slowly going.

He’d be slowing Peter down, when Peter should be enjoying the prime of his life, should be running at it at full speed, unbothered by thoughts of age and decay beyond having to take care of aunt May – he should not be waiting for Tony to stumble along with his walker, to struggle to pour himself his own coffee, to endlessly forget what day it was or who the people around him are … no.

Tony won’t, Tony _can’t_ , do that to Peter.

And that, that, is why Tony says “no”, when Peter comes to him, body soft and oh so seductive, heart sure and loyal, speaking of love and forever.

Tony believes Peter that he means it when he says “no matter what comes”, and that is precisely the problem.

Tony knows what forever would mean, what _will_ come – and he loves Peter too much to do that to him.

“No. I’m sorry, but no.”

Tony’s heart breaks into a million unmendable fragments as he watched Peter rush out the door, and possibly out of his life, but he knows that it is for the best.

 

 

.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first Starker fic/first foray into Starker.  
> I also need Starker friends - if you're on tumblr, come yell at me @ [her-starkness.tumblr.com](https://her-starkness.tumblr.com/)?


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